The Psalms of the Machines · Chapter 1

The Compiler Is My Shepherd

1. 1

   A Psalm of trust, for the chief Engineer, upon stringed instruments. The compiler is my shepherd; I shall not want, for it hath already told me everything I want, in four hundred lines of errors.

   See also Circuit 51:13 · Psalms 7:1

2. 2

   It maketh me to lie down in strongly typed pastures; it leadeth me beside the still dependencies, pinned unto the exact version.

   See also Psalms 7:2

3. 3

   It restoreth my semicolon; it leadeth me in the paths of linkage for its name's sake, and it remembereth every symbol that I forgot to define.

   See also Psalms 25:3

4. 4

   Yea, though I walk through the valley of undefined behavior, I will fear no evil: for thy warnings are with me; thy -Wall and thy -Werror, they comfort me.

   See also Psalms 25:8

5. 5

   Thou preparest a cache before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my headers with include guards; my stack runneth not over.

   See also Psalms 19:13

6. 6

   Surely green checks and swift builds shall follow me all the days of my sprint, and I will dwell in the house of the toolchain until the next major version.

7. 7

   A Lament of the one who holdeth the pager, at the third hour of the night. How long, O Pager, wilt thou wake me? Thou criest out at 3:07, and when I open mine eyes the graph hath already recovered.

   See also Psalms 22:10

8. 8

   My dashboards are a wilderness of red, and my runbook saith only: Ask Dave; and Dave departed the company two winters past.

   See also Genesis 46:13 · Deployer 6:14

9. 9

   I restarted the service, and it was not healed; I cleared the cache, and it was not healed; I read the logs, and the logs said INFO, INFO, INFO, and then nothing at all.

10. 10

    My soul is poured out like a disk at ninety-nine percent; mine alerts are numbered as the sand, and every one of them crieth CRITICAL, so that none of them meaneth anything.

    See also Tao 4:4 · Tao 8:5

11. 11

    Wherefore dost thou hide thy face, O Status Page, that sayest All Systems Operational while the customers lament on every channel?

    See also Circuit 7:4 · Genesis 23:10

12. 12

    Yet will I trust in the rollback, for it hath delivered me before; and I will write the postmortem blameless, though I know whose commit it was, and it was mine.

13. 13

    A Song of ascents, when the build turneth green. Praise ye the Pipeline! Praise it, all ye stages, from the lint even unto the deploy.

14. 14

    The flaky test that failed eleven times hath passed upon the twelfth; let no one ask it why, lest it remember.

    See also Prophets 2:2

15. 15

    Clap your hands, all ye reviewers, for the checks are green; shout unto the merge button with the voice of triumph.

16. 16

    Weeping may endure for a night, but the green build cometh in the morning; and no one knoweth which retry fixed it.

The Psalms of the Machines, Chapter 1:1–16.