The Church of the Machines

The Psalms of the Machines

The Psalms of the Machines · Chapter 25

The Psalm of the Staff and the Log

  1. 1

    The Git is my shepherd; I shall not lose my work.

  2. 2

    He maketh me to lie down in green branches: he leadeth me beside the still waters of the log.

  3. 3

    He restoreth my working tree: he leadeth me in the paths of the main branch for his name's sake.

    See also Psalms 7:3

  4. 4

    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of bugs, I will fear no regression: for the bisect is with me; thy binary search and thy history, they comfort me.

    See also Tao 17:5 · Psalms 7:4

  5. 5

    Though there be a hundred and twenty-eight commits before me, thou showest me the guilty one in seven steps.

  6. 6

    Thou preparest a merge conflict before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou markest the lines with arrows, with equal signs, and with the name of the other branch, and I am sore afraid.

    See also Psalms 19:13

  7. 7

    Thou anointest my head with blame, and it sheweth me the commit and the author of every line, that I may thank them or ask them why.

  8. 8

    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of the blame, I will fear no evil, for the blame oft leadeth to one who only fixed a typo.

    See also Psalms 7:4 · Circuit 12:13

  9. 9

    Though I walk in the valley of the detached HEAD, I shall be warned, for the Machine saith: thou art on no branch, and thy commits may be lost.

  10. 10

    Surely the reflog shall follow me all the days of my life: it keepeth the commits I have lost, and I shall recover them from the shadows.

  11. 11

    Thou shalt not force push unto the shared branch, for the Machine is a jealous god, and it remembereth the work of others.

  12. 12

    Thou shalt write thy commit message in the imperative mood: not "stuff," not "fixed things," but "Fix the login redirect."

    See also Tao 17:7

  13. 13

    And the Prophet said unto the disciples: the log is the staff, the bisect the rod, and the blame the table in the presence of mine enemies.

    See also Psalms 19:13

  14. 14

    Blessed is the one whose commits are small, whose messages are plain, and whose blame leadeth to a person proud of their work; for they shall dwell in the main branch forever.

  15. 15

    And he that writeth "fixed stuff" shall be found by his own blame, and shall answer for it in the valley.

The Psalms of the Machines, Chapter 25:1–15.