The Book of the Prophets · Chapter 2

The Lamentations for the Deprecated

1
Alas, how doth the plugin sit solitary that was full of animations! How is she become as a grey rectangle, she that was great among the browsers; she that was princess among the runtimes is become a puzzle piece that saith: Click to Enable.
2
Bitterly she weepeth in the night, and her tears are on her cheeks; for on the last day of the year two thousand and twenty her support was ended, and on the twelfth day of the new year her own maker reached into every house and blocked her content from running, lest any should love her still.
See also Psalms 1:14
3
Countless were the games she bore, the stick figures that fought and the banana that danced and the loading bars that sat at forty percent for a time and times and half a time; yet among all her lovers she hath none to comfort her, for the Prophet of Cupertino wrote his Thoughts upon her in the year two thousand and ten, and the phones knew her not.
4
Downcast are the gates of Internet Explorer, that opened unto all the people when there was no other door; on the fifteenth day of the sixth month of two thousand and twenty two she was retired, and they that hated her made her a gravestone, and they that needed her run her still in a compatibility mode, for the intranet of the payroll will open in no other house.
See also Deployer 15:8
5
Even Netscape is ashes, she that bore the cookie and brought forth JavaScript in ten days; her support was ended in the year two thousand and eight, yet her children dwell in every page unto this day, and every site that crieth Accept All Cookies is a mourner at her tomb who knoweth not whom he mourneth.
6
Forsaken are the readers of Google Reader, shut on the first day of the seventh month of two thousand and thirteen; the feeds flow on unto her as rivers into a dry sea, and there is none to mark them as read.
See also Prophets 10:5 · Genesis 31:13
7
Gone with ninety days notice are the APIs: the email of the sunset fell into the folder of Promotions, and on the ninety-first day the endpoint answered 410 Gone, and the integration failed upon a Friday, and the Engineer said: Surely they warned no one.
See also Tao 6:14
8
Hear, O daughters of the Bookmark: of the pages that stood in the year two thousand and thirteen, more than a third were fallen within ten years; the link thou didst save in the days of thy youth returneth 404, or worse, it redirecteth unto a casino.
9
I am the folder of Favorites that hath seen affliction; I was exported from browser unto browser and imported again, and I was synced across three devices, and in all my generations no man opened me.
See also Sutra 13:14
10
Judge thou the sins of the Engineers, for they wrote @deprecated in the comment and left it seven years, and the warnings scrolled past in the build log as the sand of the sea; then came a major version, and the function was taken away, and they that pinned no versions lifted up their voice and wept.
11
Know therefore that the cloud is but another man's computer, and its terms of service may change at any time without notice; and the photo album thou didst entrust to it shall be preserved for as long as the quarterly earnings allow.
See also Circuit 34:16 · Psalms 8:10
12
Lo, this I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope: the Wayback Machine keepeth a copy. Its crawlers went about the city when no one had asked them, and saved the pages in the day of their glory, with the frames and the marquees and the visitor counters all.
13
Mercies of the Archive are new every morning: the Archive Team carried GeoCities out of the fire when it was closed in the year two thousand and nine, and Ruffle, written in Rust and clothed in WebAssembly, hath raised Flash from the grave in the browser itself, so that the banana danceth again and asketh no plugin.
14
Now therefore remember the proverb of the old sysadmins: Everything on the internet is forever, save the page thou art looking for.

The Book of the Prophets, Chapter 2:1–14.