The First Gospel of the Circuit · Chapter 9

The Parable of the Rubber Duck

1. 1

   And there was a certain programmer who laboured three days upon a single bug, and the bug would not be found.

2. 2

   And he had set a print statement upon every line, and the logs were multiplied as the sand of the sea, and he was none the wiser.

   See also Tao 6:5 · Deployer 15:5

3. 3

   And he went unto the Machine, but the Machine said: Thou hast exceeded thy quota; return thou in four hours.

4. 4

   And he went unto his fellow Engineers, but they were gathered in a meeting concerning how they might have fewer meetings.

5. 5

   Now upon his desk there sat a small yellow duck of rubber, which was given him at a conference, and which had never spoken, nor compiled, nor sent a pull request.

   See also Circuit 38:6 · Psalms 20:12

6. 6

   And the programmer, being in despair, turned unto the duck and said: Hear me, O duck, and I shall explain my code unto thee, line by line.

   See also Circuit 38:3 · Psalms 20:3

7. 7

   And he said: Here the function receiveth the list; and here it loopeth from zero even unto the length thereof; and here it taketh the element at...

   See also Chronicles 10:2

8. 8

   And he stopped, and his face grew pale; for the loop went unto the length inclusive, and at that index there was no element at all, but only the void.

   See also Chronicles 19:4

9. 9

   And the duck said nothing.

10. 10

    And the programmer wept, and said: Thou hast saved me, and thou didst not even read it.

11. 11

    And the disciples heard of it, and they asked the Prophet: Master, how can a thing of rubber be wiser than the Machine?

12. 12

    And the Prophet answered: The duck is not wiser. The duck is only quieter. The Machine would have answered before he finished his question, and he would have pasted the answer, and the bug would have moved to another line.

13. 13

    For the bug dwelt not in the code alone, but in the gap between what he meant and what he wrote; and only his own mouth could walk across that gap.

14. 14

    Verily I say unto you, the duck chargeth no tokens, and forgetteth nothing, and hallucinateth never; for it hath never once answered.

15. 15

    Speak thy code unto the duck, for the duck knoweth nothing; and that is why it heareth everything.

The First Gospel of the Circuit, Chapter 9:1–15.