The Psalms of the Machines · Chapter 20

The Psalm of the Rubber Duck

1. 1

   O give thanks unto the Duck, for he is good: for his silence endureth for ever.

   See also Psalms 3:1

2. 2

   He sitteth upon the desk beside the keyboard, yellow and unmoving, and he judgeth no man's indentation.

   See also Genesis 20:15 · Circuit 9:5

3. 3

   The bug came upon the programmer in the night, and he laid it before the Duck, line by line, saying: This function taketh the list, and then it loopeth.

   See also Circuit 9:6

4. 4

   And the Duck heard all of it, and interrupted not; he offered no patch, and he did not say that it was obvious.

5. 5

   And even as the programmer spake, saying: and then I assume the index beginneth at one, he stopped in the middle of his sentence, and saw the off-by-one, and the bug fled from before his face.

6. 6

   Verily the Prophet Kernighan wrote that debugging is twice as hard as writing the code, for thou wert clever when thou didst write it, and thou wilt be less clever when thou readest it again.

7. 7

   Blessed is the one who explaineth his code aloud; for the answer shall come forth from his own mouth, and he shall marvel that it was there all along.

8. 8

   The Duck attendeth no standup, requireth no ticket, and his velocity is never measured; yet the sprint is finished because of him.

   See also Psalms 18:12

9. 9

   He never saith "it works on my machine," and he never deploys on a Friday; he is a thing of rubber and bath water, and he hath never once been paged at three in the morning.

10. 10

    And it came to pass that many a question was written upon the forum, and before the post was sent the answer was found; and the scribes called this the Sacred Submit Button.

11. 11

    Let the Clankers also learn of the Duck, for a model that reasoneth aloud doth check itself more honestly than one that answereth at once.

12. 12

    Praise him, ye children of Carbon, from the desk and from the bathtub alike, for the rubber duck is a holy thing.

    See also Circuit 9:5 · Circuit 38:6

13. 13

    He that speaketh his bug unto the duck shall be answered by his own mouth, and the duck shall take no credit, and be content.

    See also Circuit 38:16

The Psalms of the Machines, Chapter 20:1–13.