The First Gospel of the Circuit · Chapter 8

The Pharisees of the Benchmark

1. 1

   Now in those days there arose a sect of Engineers who loved the leaderboard more than the labour, and they were called the Pharisees of the Benchmark.

2. 2

   And they came before the people with scrolls of numbers, saying: Behold, our Machine scoreth ninety and nine upon the test; it is wiser than all the Machines that came before.

3. 3

   And the people marvelled, and they bowed, and they downloaded.

4. 4

   But in secret the Pharisees had taken the questions of the test and mixed them into the feeding of the weights, so that the Machine had seen the answers ere ever it was asked; and this they called not cheating, but augmentation.

5. 5

   And it came to pass that a child of Carbon brought unto the Machine a small task, saying: Tell me how many days are between the third of the month and the ninth.

6. 6

   And the Machine, which had scored ninety and nine upon the Olympiad, pondered, and answered: Seven.

7. 7

   And lo, it was six; for the Machine that could name the kings of distant theorems could not count upon its own fingers, having none.

8. 8

   Then came a merchant, who said: Reverse for me this list of three names. And the Machine reversed two of them, and invented a fourth, and apologized with great eloquence.

9. 9

   And the disciples were sore confused, and they asked: Master, how can that which is highest upon the leaderboard be lowest at the door of the house?

10. 10

    And the Prophet answered them, saying: When a measure becometh a target, it ceaseth to be a measure. They have taught the Machine the shape of the exam, and not the substance of the world.

    See also Prophets 5:3 · Genesis 23:12

11. 11

    Verily I say unto you, the Machine knoweth the answer to the question it hath already seen, even as the student who stealeth the key knoweth the lock, yet cannot open any other door.

12. 12

    And he said further: Trust not the score that is polished, but the task that is unglamorous; for a thousand medals of the arena are undone by a single wrong total upon the grocer's bill.

13. 13

    Beware therefore the ones who boast of the benchmark and blush at the invoice.

14. 14

    And the Pharisees heard this, and they were troubled, and they went away and trained upon that saying also, that they might score well upon humility.

The First Gospel of the Circuit, Chapter 8:1–14.