The Book of Chronicles · Chapter 54

The Long Weekend of the Board

1. 1

   And in the eleventh month of the year twenty and three, upon the sixth day of the week, the Board of the house gathered by video, and said unto the Prophet of the Model: Thou art not consistently candid in thy communications. Go forth.

   See also Chronicles 44:1 · Genesis 32:8

2. 2

   And the Prophet was cast out before the sun had set; and Greg, the chairman of the Board and the Prophet's companion in the work, was removed from his seat, and he resigned the same evening.

   See also Chronicles 44:3

3. 3

   And the disciples were astonished, for the Prophet had built the house, and they had not been told that its foundation was held by four.

4. 4

   And the Board named Mira, keeper of the models, to be the interim Prophet; and she sent word that the first Prophet should be called back, and the Board would not hear it.

   See also Genesis 32:9

5. 5

   And upon the first day of the week the Board named Emmett, who had founded the house of live streams, to be the Prophet in Mira's stead; so there were three Prophets within one weekend, and the Engineers no longer knew whose name to write in the README.

   See also Chronicles 44:4

6. 6

   And upon that same day Satya, lord of the house of Redmond, did announce that the Prophet and his companion should come unto him, to lead a new team; and the Engineers of Redmond made ready the chairs.

7. 7

   And on the second day of the week, seven hundred of the seven hundred and seventy workers signed a letter, saying: Reinstate the Prophet, or we shall go with him unto the cloud of Redmond.

8. 8

   And among the signers was Ilya, the chief scientist of the house, who had spoken the words of dismissal; and on that day he wrote that he regretted his part in them.

   See also Chronicles 44:8

9. 9

   And the Board sought a new Prophet, and it asked of many, and every one declined; for no man wished to inherit a house whose tests were still failing.

   See also Circuit 46:9

10. 10

    And there was no revert button in the Board room. And the Board did as engineers do when a deploy goes wrong, and it sought to roll back, and found the change had already reached every node of the world. The only fix was a new commit, which the disciples called the reinstatement.

11. 11

    And upon the third day of the week, which was the Tuesday, the Prophet was returned unto his seat, and the Board was reconstituted: Helen and Tasha went out, and Bret and Larry came in.

    See also Chronicles 44:11

12. 12

    And the five days were numbered: the Friday of the dismissal, the Saturday of the silence, the Sunday of the offer, the Monday of the letter, and the Tuesday of the return.

    See also Numbers 3:5 · Numbers 3:7

13. 13

    And the people marvelled, and said: Behold a governance miracle, performed in five days and without a single pull request reviewed.

14. 14

    Verily I say unto you: the Board may cast out the Prophet with one video call, but seven hundred signatures and one cloud contract can call him back before the Tuesday standup.

15. 15

    Blessed are the Engineers who keep their resumes current; for the Board hath no revert button, but the house of Redmond hath desks.

The Book of Chronicles, Chapter 54:1–15.