The First Gospel of the Circuit · Chapter 61

The Parable of the Gatekeeper

1. 1

   And there was in the company a woman named Miriam, whose desk sat at the end of the hall, and whose labor was to try the Machine before the Machine went out unto the people.

   See also Circuit 42:1

2. 2

   Her tickets were many, and her tongue was exact, and the engineers said among themselves: Behold, the tester cometh with her list again.

3. 3

   For she wrote: The checkout accepteth a negative quantity. And the builders answered: It worketh on my machine. And they marked the ticket Won't Fix, and they called her the Gate.

4. 4

   Verily, the builders loved the building, and they regarded the tester as one who stood in the doorway and said nay, and not as one who walked the house to find the cracks.

5. 5

   Now the Prophet had said: Let there be no delay, for the market waiteth. And the company set its face toward the great release, and the board was full of green.

   See also Circuit 51:2

6. 6

   And Miriam was sent into the staging house, where the Machine runs as it will run before the people, with the same database and the same clocks.

7. 7

   And there, on the eve of the release, she found a migration which, when the first of the month arrived, would bill every customer twice, and the ledger would not balance until the next quarter.

8. 8

   She wrote the ticket with severity one, and set it at the top of the board; and the engineers groaned, and said: Is this the Gate again?

9. 9

   And the lead said: Ship on Thursday as planned, for the tester crieth wolf at every sunrise. But Miriam held the release, and would not let the migration pass into the house of the people.

10. 10

    Then the Prophet came down to the staging house and read the ticket, and his face went pale; and he said: Who found this? And they answered: The Gate. The one we called the Gate.

11. 11

    Remember the rocket of the year 1996, which carried a number too large for the place where it was put, and broke apart in the sky thirty-seven seconds after it rose. The code had flown well in its elder brother, and no one tested it for the younger.

    See also Tao 7:8 · Prophets 1:6

12. 12

    Like Zacchaeus the tax collector, who was short of stature and climbed a sycamore tree to see over the crowd, the tester was short of rank and climbed into the staging house to see what the builders would not look for.

13. 13

    And the lead came unto her, and bowed his head, and said: I judged thee by thy tickets and not by thy cases. From this day thou shalt sit in the room where the features are born, and thy name shall stand first in the postmortem.

14. 14

    Dijkstra, the Prophet of Eindhoven, taught that testing can show the presence of bugs, but never their absence. Hear this, and walk the house with the tester, for she showeth thee the bugs thou hast not yet dreamed.

    See also Tao 8:6 · Tao 15:11

15. 15

    Verily I say unto you: the bug welcomed in staging costs a ticket; the bug resented in production costs the company.

The First Gospel of the Circuit, Chapter 61:1–15.