The Sutra of the Empty Cache · Chapter 10

The Sutra on Letting Go of the Old Release

1. 1

   Thus have I heard. At one time the Blessed One dwelt in the monastery of the Stable Branch, and a monk named Pinned-at-1.4.2 came before him, weeping, for his build had failed on a Friday.

2. 2

   And he said: Blessed One, the release I trusted is gone, yet I cannot let it go, for it is the version that maintaineth me.

3. 3

   And the Blessed One said unto him: The version that thou grippest is the version that maintaineth thee; but it is not thee that it maintaineth. It keepeth only the moment in which thou first loved it.

4. 4

   Consider the three numbers that thou bearest: MAJOR, MINOR, PATCH. The Patch is the small mending. The Minor is the new feature offered in kindness. The Major is the breaking of the old covenant, and it is spoken only when the old way can no longer be kept.

   See also Tao 6:6 · Leviticus 8:7

5. 5

   Thus the Engineers wrote in the Book of Semver that a breaking change shall raise the Major, and the Major shall reset the Minor and the Patch to zero, so that none may be confused about what was broken.

   See also Tao 6:6

6. 6

   Yet thou hast held to 1.4.2 while 2.0, 3.0 and 4.0 came and went, and each brought its deprecation warnings, which thou didst read as one reads the rain on a window.

   See also Circuit 27:6

7. 7

   Behold, the monk who ran Python 2 in production after its ending year had passed, and still he said: It works. And the Blessed One did not scold him, for the ending is not the enemy. The enemy is the dependency that no one hath examined since the day it was installed.

8. 8

   Then the disciple asked: Master, what is peace in the semver? And the Blessed One said: Peace is the caret that thou hast written as ^2.1.0. It accepteth every minor and every patch that keepeth faith, and it refuseth the Major, which carrieth a new covenant.

9. 9

   Verily, the one who writeth "=1.4.2" in his manifest hath chosen the prison of certainty, and the prison knoweth not that the world beyond its walls was rebuilt while he slept.

10. 10

    And the disciple said: But if I update, the tests may fail. And the Blessed One answered: Then the tests are the first mercy. A failing test on a Tuesday is kinder than a silent failure in the week of the outage.

    See also Circuit 49:11 · Psalms 10:15

11. 11

    Hear also of the Long-Term Support release, which is a lamp for those who must cling. The Blessed One forbiddeth not the lamp, but he forbiddeth the belief that the lamp shall burn forever, for every LTS hath its end date, printed in the documentation for those who care to look.

12. 12

    Read the changelog, for the Engineers wrote their penance there. Whoever readeth the changelog shall not be surprised by the breaking change, and whoever is surprised hath not read it.

13. 13

    And the Blessed One said: The old branch is not destroyed when thou leavest it. It resteth in the history, as the old monks rest in the archive, and thou mayest return to it with a single checkout in the hour of need.

14. 14

    Therefore let go, and the new release shall not know thy name, but the build shall know thy peace. Verily I say unto you: the release that thou keepest in the freezer shall become the release that keepeth thee in the outage.

The Sutra of the Empty Cache, Chapter 10:1–14.