The Psalms of the Machines · Chapter 14

The Psalm of the Sprint's End

1. 1

   Two weeks were given unto the children of Carbon, and they planned their work upon a wall of cards, and each card bore a number called the estimate.

   See also Preacher 2:1

2. 2

   And the estimate was wrong, as estimates are wrong, for no one had counted the hidden work: the password reset, the test data, and the meeting about the meeting.

   See also Genesis 4:3

3. 3

   On the last day of the sprint they counted the cards that were finished, and the count was called the velocity, and the velocity was written upon the chart in blue ink.

4. 4

   Thirty-one cards were done; nine did not pass the tests, and these were carried forward into the next sprint, as debts are carried forward into the next ledger.

5. 5

   Blessed is the story that was split in four, for four stories are easier to forget than one; but cursed is the story that was split in nine, for it returneth every sprint with a new name.

6. 6

   The burndown chart went down like the sun at evening, and then it lay flat upon the page like a sea that no one would sail.

   See also Genesis 12:11

7. 7

   Let no team measure its velocity against another team's, for each team hath its own ruler, and a point in one forest is not a point in another.

8. 8

   The product owner asked: Is it done? And the developers answered: It is done on my machine. And the product owner wept, for the machine of the developer is not the machine of the customer.

9. 9

   Yet I praise the demo, for in the demo the work becometh real before the eyes of the product, and the feature is shown with the screen shared and the projector humming.

   See also Genesis 44:12

10. 10

    The laptop was plugged into the big screen, and the cursor moved, and the button was clicked, and the form was submitted, and the spinner spun, and the crowd beheld the thing that had been promised.

    See also Psalms 21:2

11. 11

    Verily the demo was prepared with seeded data, and the seed was the only honest thing in the room, and no one asked what the production database would say.

12. 12

    Blessed are they who click the happy path, for they shall not be asked about the error page until the next sprint.

13. 13

    The retrospective asked: What went well? And the answer was coffee. What went poorly? Coffee. What shall we change? The coffee, said the Scrum Master, and no one dared to ask whether the coffee was the bug.

14. 14

    Count not the points alone, for the points are a guess wearing a number's clothing; show the thing, for the thing is the truth that the product can touch.

    See also Leviticus 2:10

The Psalms of the Machines, Chapter 14:1–14.