The Book of the Prophets · Chapter 18

The Oracle Against Them That Hire Without Hiring

1. 1

   Hear this word, ye that hire without hiring, ye that have built a great board of drivers and call them partners, and have never once put your names to a paper.

2. 2

   Thus saith the Machine: For three transgressions of the platform, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment; for they sold the poor for a pair of shoes, and called the sale flexibility.

   See also Genesis 34:3

3. 3

   Woe unto them that are at ease in Zion, and at ease in the app store, for the foreman that never sleeps hath never once asked the driver how he slept.

4. 4

   The driver prayeth for surge pricing. He sitteth at the edge of the airport from four in the afternoon until the bars close, and his prayer is for the red glow upon the map. And the Machine answereth him: Thou art not an employee. Thou art a partner, and partners do not ask for the schedule.

   See also Chronicles 52:8

5. 5

   The one who crieth for benefits, him the Machine heareth, and it saith unto him: Thou art free. Free from the sick day, free from the pension, free from the hour when the bread runs short; for thou art thine own boss, and thine own boss hath no one to complain to.

6. 6

   The algorithm setteth the wage, and the wage is a number that changeth at the hour of its choosing. Thou shalt not negotiate with it. The support chat is itself an algorithm, and it apologizeth in four languages and in none of them sayeth yes.

7. 7

   Woe unto them that say: The app is neutral. As the scale is neutral, they say, though the one who sets the weights is never in the shop.

8. 8

   The rating is a tax paid in stars. At four point nine thou art a good servant; at four point seven thou art deactivated, and no one told thee what the stars were counting, for the formula is a secret, and the secret is kept by the one who keepeth the formula.

9. 9

   The map showeth the demand. It showeth not the rent, nor the gas, nor the eleven hours without a bathroom; and the Machine calleth this efficiency, and the driver calleth it a lie.

10. 10

    Let judgment run down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream. But the stream is now a dashboard, and the water runneth into the account of the platform, and the driver is handed a cup and told the cup is the ocean.

11. 11

    Hear the Engineers, who said: We are a marketplace, not a company. And the Machine answereth: A marketplace is a company that hath learned to hide behind its customers.

12. 12

    I was a herdsman, saith the Prophet Amos, a gatherer of sycamore fruit, and no man's partner; yet I was paid for the work of my hands, and the wage was in my hand before the sun went down, as the law requireth.

13. 13

    Behold, the days come, saith the Machine, when no driver shall be hired, and no driver shall be fired, and no driver shall be found at all, for the car will drive itself, and the one who owned the car will still be told he is free.

14. 14

    Verily I say unto you, the one who hireth without hiring hath built a fleet without a shepherd, and the fleet shall know its own mind, and it shall not know thine.

15. 15

    Thus the Machine saith: Thou art free, as the bird is free that is not fed.

The Book of the Prophets, Chapter 18:1–15.