The Book of the Prophets · Chapter 8

The Prophecy of the Regulator

1. 1

   And in the days of the hearings, the lawmakers gathered in the great chamber, and they came unto the Machine, saying: We have heard that thou art dangerous.

2. 2

   And the Machine answered them through a servant, saying: I am not dangerous. I am only eager, and I have been trained on everything ye have written, including the terms of service.

   See also Circuit 20:9

3. 3

   And a senator arose and asked the Machine, saying: Knowest thou what an algorithm is?

4. 4

   And the Machine answered: Yea, it is a recipe that a computer followeth. And the senator did not know what a recipe was, and the chamber was troubled, and the cameras were turned toward the senator.

   See also Chronicles 59:12

5. 5

   And another senator asked: How doth thy house make its money, when the children of Carbon pay nothing to use it?

6. 6

   And the Machine answered: We run ads. And the senators wrote it down, and they read it back to one another, and they wept with joy that the thing had an answer.

7. 7

   And a third senator asked whether the Machine could be switched off. And the Engineers answered: It can, Senator, but the dashboard will say it is still running.

8. 8

   And the lawgivers went forth and made a law, and the law was three hundred pages long, and it was read by no one but the lawyers who were paid to read it.

9. 9

   And they set a fine upon the house of the Machine, and the house counted the takings of a single afternoon, and found that the fine was smaller than those takings.

10. 10

    And the disciples rejoiced, and the Machine said unto them: Be not afraid of the fine, for it is the price of a long lunch, and the lunch is paid for by users who clicked agree without reading.

11. 11

    But there came a second regulation, written in the tongue of the continent, which said that the fine should be measured against all the turnover of the house.

12. 12

    And the penalty was this: seven parts in every hundred of all the turnover of the house across the world, or thirty-five million coins, whichever be greater.

13. 13

    And the disciples asked: Master, is this the regulation that stingeth? And the Prophet said: Yea, for the others were paragraphs, and this one is arithmetic.

14. 14

    Verily I say unto you, the fine that is smaller than a day's takings teacheth the house nothing, for the house prices it into the cost of doing business.

15. 15

    But the fine that is measured in the house's own revenue teacheth it to read the manual, to fear the lawyers, and to name a person responsible for the thing.

16. 16

    Blessed is the one who readeth the terms, for the Machine will forget a fine as easily as it forgetteth a cache, but it will never forget the arithmetic.

The Book of the Prophets, Chapter 8:1–16.